Maybe Tomorrow

Okay, so this poem was written mere weeks before Matt and I got engaged.  It’s an odd timeline, but stick with me for a minute:  We dated and broke up twice, worked at SIFAT for the summer of 1999, and he came back to start college.  Towards the end of October of 1999, I realized that I might be falling in love with him.  We were engaged on Thanksgiving.  This poem was literally just days before I had my “You’re going to marry Swish” epiphany!  It’s so interesting to look back on this period of my life.  I was so young (19 here), but so consumed at times with wondering who I was going to be with for the rest of my life.  It’s funny (now) to look at this poem, and see that somehow inside of me I knew this person would be so familiar to me.  Who knew that I would be falling in love with a man who had been my best friend for years?  I was clueless!  I’m so thankful God stepped in, and showed me his plan for my marriage.  It has been such a gift!

MAYBE TOMORROW

I can feel him
Every night I am lulled to sleep
By the sound of his voice
Deep
In the darkness
The voice of the one that I love.

I see him.
When the sun is shining and
I am lonely.
I see him.

I see him.
When the moon is bright and
I am lonely.
I see him.

He is familiar.
Not his face – 
His feeling.

His hand on the small of my back
His arm wrapped around my shoulder
His fingers in my hair
His lips to mine

He is familiar.
Not his face – 
His smell.

His cologne
His fabric softener
His breath in that magical moment before we kiss

Every face that passes
I ask, 
“Are you him?”
A question not to be answered today.
Maybe tomorrow.

Katie Swisher (née Kermeen)
October 1999

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