>The Waiting

Posted on April 25, 2007 by Katie

>Here are four words that will give you a glimpse into my life: I love Tom Petty.

Simple.

There are some who will argue with my taste (Mike), but to those people, I say, “Back off!” I love Tom Petty.

Matt and I were recently in Cleveland to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Let me tell you something: the Rock Hall is amazing! It’s worth the trip to Cleveland just to go. When we were there, they had a big special exhibit just for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. I cried. Seriously. I love Tom Petty.

My parents are musicians (did you know that?). I had a pretty fun childhood. While most of you were being rocked to sleep by the sounds of Brahms’s Lullaby, I was being lulled into dreamland by the sounds of The Beatles and The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. When I was about 4 or 5 my favorite song was “The Waiting” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. For my fifth birthday I got to go to their concert. I don’t remember much, but I do remember reddish stage lights and Tom Petty looking down at me and smiling. Awesome. I love Tom Petty.

“The Waiting” is still my favorite Tom Petty song. I can’t tell you why. It’s definitely not his most accomplished piece of music, but for some reason I can’t help but love this song. It makes me feel younger, and it reminds me of a much simpler time when my parents were still faultless and heroic and my biggest problems in life happened when I tried to decide which Barbie to play with. I love Tom Petty.

Mom and I were talking on the phone today about my current life situation. For those who haven’t been keeping up, here’s the scoop: Matt is graduating in 24 days, and we have no idea where we will be going after that. Yeah. It’s a little crazy. Okay…it’s a lot crazy! We’re dealing. We do have something in the works that might pan out, but that is yet to be seen. Besides the job mess, we are also experiencing some fertility issues. I have been on some wacky fertility drugs for the past 4 months or so, and we’ve had no luck. (On a side note, I think I’m going to stop the drugs for a little bit. Just until we get settled somewhere…) Needless to say, most of my conversations these days end up being some variation of this: “Hi! Oh, no…we don’t know where we’re going yet. Yeah, we are going a little crazy. No, we’re trying not to be worried. Why? Do you think we should be worried? What’s that? Oh, no we’re not pregnant yet either. Yeah, I’m sure it will happen in God’s timing. Huh? I’m pouring sweat? No, it’s not hot in here. My drugs give me hot flashes. Yeah – it’s hilarious. You can stop laughing now. Seriously…”

I was having one of these conversations with Mom today when she began doing what she does best – saying encouraging things to try to make me feel better. They usually do make me feel better, and today they did not disappoint. In the midst of this encouraging pep talk, she sighed and said, “You know, the waiting IS the hardest part.” Huh? Mom loves Tom Petty too, it seems.

She then began to note the prophetic meaning behind me loving “The Waiting”. She reminded me that I have had to do a lot of waiting in my young life. I knew at the age of 19 that God wanted me to marry Matt. We got engaged soon after that, but didn’t marry until I was almost 22. For almost 3 years I waited to marry him while he was away at college. We’re trying to have a baby. Since January of last year I have been waiting for that little miracle to happen. I’m still waiting, but I hear from mothers that the waiting, at least in this instance, definitely will NOT be the hardest part. Now I find myself waiting to hear about our life after Asbury. It’s been an exciting experience so far, but I think I’m ready for it to be over. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night wondering where we will be, where we will live, where we will work, etc. I dream of a bigger home where we might get another bathroom, a garage, an office. Where we will be able to have pets and hopefully bring home our first of many children. The waiting has definitely been hard here.

So, what do I learn from all of this? Well, I’m sure God wants me to learn a bit of patience, but maybe even more than that He wants me to remember that in all of these situations he has cared for me, provided for me and never left me hanging. To God the waiting is not the hardest part. He sees beyond the waiting and beckons me to trust that He still has our best in mind.

I do love Tom Petty. Who knew when I was 5 that the song I was dancing and singing to would be a song that encouraged me throughout my life? God did. I love Him too.

“The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part”
-Tom Petty

>Can you hear me???

Posted on January 31, 2007 by Katie

>I don’t know why I’ve been blogging in song lately, but I’m going to do it again. This is a song that I’ve known and loved for years, but last night Leslie, Mary Kathryn and I took a fresh look at it. We’ve been meeting weekly for a little more than a month now, and this song really seems to sum up a lot of what we have been talking about/working through.

Martyrs & Theives
-Jennifer Knapp (from her album Kansas)

There’s a place in the darkness that I used to cling to
That presses harsh hope against time.
In the absence of martyrs there’s a presence of thieves
Who only want to rob you blind
They steal away any sense of peace
Though I’m a king, I’m a king on my knees
And I know they are wrong when they say I am strong
As the darkness covers me

So turn on the light and reveal all the glory
I am not afraid to bear all my weakness,
Knowing in meakness, I have a kingdom to gain
Where there is peace and love in the light, in the light
I am not afraid to let your light shine bright in my life

There are ghosts from my past who own more of my soul
Than I thought I had given away.
They linger in closets and under my bed
And in pictures less proudly displayed.
A great fool in my life I have been
Have squandered ’til pallid and thin.
Hung my head in shame and refused to take blamefor the darkness I know I’ve let win.

Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?

Well I’ve never been much for the bearing of soul
In the presence of any man.
I’d rather keep to myself all safe and secure –
In the arms of a sinner I am.
Could it be that my worth should depend
By the crimson stained grace on a hand?
And like a lamp on a hill, Lord I pray in Your will,
To reveal all of you that I can.

>What does Christmas mean to you???

Posted on November 27, 2006 by Katie

>“Christmas” means different things to different people. To some, it is merely a word. A time of the year that signals a few days away from the office and great sales at the mall. To others, it is a frustrating time of fighting crowds, shoveling the driveway and wrapping gifts. And still, to others, it is a time of reflection on the year that is almost gone – a time of merriment spent with family and friends.

To me, Christmas has always meant family. Christmas was always the one time of the year that I got to see almost every member of my family at least once. It has always been a time of joy, of reconciliation, of peace.

As a child I remember being at Grandma Alice’s house eating her pumpkin bread late into the night and gawking at the gifts that lay under the warmly lit tree. As the gold lights cast an amber glow on our faces, we would crawl on the floor under the tree looking for our presents, only stopping for a short moment to glance at the nativity placed delicately among the trappings. For as long as I could remember, an angel hovered over that holy family with a banner in her arms proclaiming “Gloria”, and since that is my mother’s name, I was sure that angel was there just for us.

As I grew older, Christmas started to become less of a holiday and more of a hectic time for me. My calendar kept me at school functions, at work and with friends nearly every day of the week, and I had little time for family. Christmas was another item on my never ending “to do” list. It never occurred to me that Christmas would ever be any different than what it had always been.

Now Christmas looks very different. We still meet at Grandma Alice’s, but much has changed through the years. The faces of our family have changed. Some have been born, some have passed away. Some have married in, some have divorced out. The rest of us have merely aged. The house is very different as well. The smells in the house have changed. Rooms have been added on. There are many more gifts under the tree.

And yet regardless of all the changes that have taken place and have yet to take place, one fact remains unchanged. Under all the wrapping paper and ribbons. Under all the food and festivities. Under all the hustle and bustle, Christmas is about one thing: the birth of Jesus, our Lord. He lies patiently in a manger under our Christmas tree – amidst the sparkling gifts and the snooping children – waiting for us to remember Him.

“O, holy night, the stars are brightly shining.
It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
The thrill of hope! The weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
Fall on your knees, and hear the angel’s voices!
O Night Divine! O, night, when Christ was born.
O, Night Divine! O, night, o night divine.”