>Gratitude

>Here is a little something I wrote for my family at Thanksgiving a few years ago. I was inspired by the song “Gratitude” by Nichole Nordeman, and felt I needed to put some words down. I tried to find the song for my profile, but had no luck. You’ll have to find it yourself! Happy Thanksgiving…

Hundreds of years ago, a group of rebels crossed the ocean, and decided to make a strange land their new home. Imagine what dreams they had on the boat! I wonder if they dreamed of the blessings God would bestow upon them when they arrived; the riches they would find; the feasts they would have. I’m sure the windy nights on the long trip across the Atlantic were filled with prayers. “Father, bring us water, food and peace.” “God, Keep us safe.” History tells us that not every day was easy. Not every person survived. Not everyone was warm. But history also tells us that, in the midst of all the turmoil and hardships, the pilgrims took a day to gather together and thank God for His many blessings, and centuries later we still come together to celebrate that day. Don’t let today be just about the turkey and noodles. Look around you and let today be a day to thank God for what He’s done for you. Remember that while you dine on stuffing and pie, most of the world dines on rice—if anything at all. Remember that while the children in our family make noise and get under our feet while we cook, there are a lot of couples yearning to conceive. Remember also that while you may be asking God to answer your prayers the way you want, He may have already answered them the way He wants. Take the time today to thank Him. Our Lord provides for us in ways we see every day, and also in ways we’ll never understand. He deserves our praise! Please, enjoy this song, and while you do, I hope you take from it what I have. That God is bigger than we can ever imagine—His ways are not always like ours.

Gratitude


Send some rain, would you send some rain? ‘Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again. The sun is high and we are sinking in the shade.

Would you send a cloud – thunder long and loud? Let the sky grow black, and send some mercy down.Surely you can see that we are thirsty and afraid.

But maybe not, not today. Maybe you’ll provide in other ways,

And if that’s the case…

We’ll give thanks to You with gratitude, For lessons learned in how to thirst for you. How to bless the very sun that warms our face If you never send us rain.

Daily bread, give us daily bread. Bless our bodies, keep our children fed. Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight. Wrap us up, and warm us through Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs. Let us slumber safe from danger’s view this time.

Or maybe not, not today Maybe You’ll provide in other ways,

And if that’s the case…

We’ll give thanks to You with gratitude – A lesson learned to hunger after You. That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead – if we never taste that bread.

Oh the differences that often are between Everything we want and what we really need.

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace Move our hearts to hear a single beat between alibis and enemies tonight.

Or maybe not, not today. Peace might be another world away,

And if that’s the case…
We’ll give thanks to You with gratitude For lessons learned in how to trust in You. That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream – in abundance or in need – if you never grant us peace.

But Jesus, would you please…

Written by Nichole Nordeman © 2002 Ariose Music / ASCAP / Admin. By EMI Christian Music Publishing

>Wedding Dress

>I don’t usually post blogs like this, but what the heck? I love music and words, so go figure – God speaks to me through song lyrics. I just love this song, and I’d love to get some feedback from you all on it. I was folding laundry today and this song came around on the old shuffle order. It just had to stop and listen to it again.

Wedding Dress, by Derek Webb

If you could love me as a wife

and for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I’d ever need
or is there more I’m looking for

and should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want

I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I’m a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
Though I don’t trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side

I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

Because money cannot buy
a husband’s jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife

God is just so amazing, isn’t He? I’m constantly amazed at all the ways he reveals himself to us. Before I got married (4 years and 2 days ago), I never really got the whole “Bride/Groom” thing. Then on my wedding day, it suddenly made sense! Here I was: a young, naive bride walking down the aisle (the longest aisle in the world too – I swear!) to an unknown future. It’s no wonder people freak out and leave people at the altar. It can be really scary! But you know what? I never once thought of running anywhere but to Matt’s side. I was (and still am) so in love with Matt, that I would go anywhere (even to Kentucky!) and do anything just to be near him. Every step I took towards him that hot, July afternoon 4 years ago was a step towards a future I was clueless about. The only thing I knew is that we would be there together. I couldn’t get down that aisle fast enough! Still today when I look at my wedding ring, I remember the love and trust and excitement I had that day. It’s exhilirating!

I think that’s how we should be with God, and now that I’m married I think I understand that’s what God has been trying to tell us through all this Bride/Groom stuff. Matt and I have been here in Wilmore for over 3 years now, preparing for ministry. For so long we have had the goal of just getting through; of having a somewhat normal marriage even while we work and study and go; of trying to keep our eyes on God to remind us why we have sacrificed to much to be here. Finally graduation is just around the corner. May 19th of next year he will have his degree, and (hopefully) he will be comissioned to a church. Suddenly I am nothing but anxious. Am I prepared? Do I know everything I need to know about being a pastor’s wife? Where will we live? Who will our friends be? What about kids? Will we be near our family? Suddenly I find myself wanting to stay here in Wilmore for a few more years while at the same time being so excited to get back to Indiana, I can hardly stand it. What gives?

The Spirit met me here at my computer and smacked me with conviction. Shame on me for not trusting God whole-heartedly. When has He ever given me reason to doubt Him? When has He ever NOT provided for us? He has always provided enough money, enough friends, enough food, enough friends to give us food when we didn’t have money, enough health, enough strength for each moment, enough family that loves us, enough, enough, enough! Shame on me for not recognizing that God has given me a wedding ring too. He has promised to do what is best for me, to provide all I need, to be with me even when I’m not sure about where we’re going. Shame on me for trusting my husband more than I trust my Lord, my Savior, my true Groom.

Yes, I am still nervous about next summer. I am only human, after all. This is what Matt and I have been preparing for the past 7 years. I knew when we got engaged that ministry was in sight, and here we are at the cusp of all we have planned for. So, with Matt by my side and God looking after us, all I can say is bring it on…

>Music and me…

>My friends at work tease me about being a “band geek”. I’ll admit it – I am one, or at least I was many moons ago. I went to band camp, wore the uniform, the whole deal. And you know what? I loved every minute of it. Laugh if you will, but for a long time, being a musician was my entire life. Most of my best friends in this world are friends that I made in band. Playing my flute gave me a sense of accomplishment. As I improved, so did my self-confidence. For quite a while, I was sure that I would be a musician for the rest of my life. I had plans to go on to study music in college, even got accepted to a music conservatory in Ohio. After I graduated from high school, I even played with an Indianapolis symphonic band for a while. Since I left the ISB though, I haven’t really played much.

A lot has changed since then. “Real life” catches up with you sooner or later, and you realize that life won’t always be as fun as it used to be. You can’t always hang out with the old gang of friends, and you can’t always live rent free with your parents, and sometimes you have to put certain dreams aside to let others take form. I guess that’s what happened to me.

It has only recently hit me just how drastically my life has changed since then. My priorities are so different now. I can’t tell you the last time I even picked up my flute. I’m feeling a little sad about it now, and so as I’m writing this, I’m listening to some of my favorite songs we played back in the day. Rhapsody in Blue is on…I love that one…

As I’m writing this, though, I’m realizing that maybe I haven’t left music behind in the dust of life completely. Maybe it’s something primal, maybe it’s something about my upbringing – I just can’t let it go. Though I’m no longer creating music with an instrument, I am still enjoying it quite a bit, and great music can still take me away to another world like it used to.

Maybe a day will come when I will be able to play with a group again. The opportunity has presented itself a few times in the past few years, but it just hasn’t felt right. Then again, maybe I’ll never play again the way that I used to. I’m feeling a little sad about that right now…

I’m such a dork, but I don’t care. Today, I miss my band years. I miss creating music with my friends, and I miss the feeling of a song well played. It used to remind me that I’m part of something much bigger. Isn’t a group of musicians a great microcosm of what the church should be? Each person playing their own very different, yet very vital parts to create a fantastic song? And you know, you can’t take your eyes off the director for very long or you’ll be pretty lost. Hmmm…maybe I’ll have to think about that more.

I’m getting tired…and cranky…and reminiscent. Not a good combo. G’night!