>Today is Good Friday. What a solemn, somber day. Today we remember Jesus’ crucifixion. We know now that in three days there will be a resurrection that will shake creation to its very core, but today…today we mourn. I think, even as people who live on this side of the resurrection, we don’t fully understand just what happened that Friday hundreds of years ago. To think that our Lord would take on our sins as his own and die a criminal’s death to redeem us is enough to boggle the mind.
I want you to listen to this song (it’s not Tuesday…am I throwing you a curveball, or what?). It’s by Nichole Nordeman (one of my favorites), and it’s a song written from the perspective of a child watching the crucifixion. I hope these words both haunt and heal you today. Yes, our Lord is hanging on a cross, but he is up there paying our price. In three days he will defeat death, and will rise – and will invite us to rise with him.
It’s an exciting time for Christians – this holy week we find ourselves in. I hope you are trying to place yourself in the story this week…
>I think I have Tourette’s Syndrome…but only in my head. That’s what I’m calling it anyway. I seem to have developed a knack for thinking of funny things at the most inappropriate times. Sometimes my little daydreams are so real, I actually almost do or say what I’m thinking out loud! It’s really going to get me in trouble sometime. Here are a few examples from the last week or two:
1) We were at the Veedersburg Community Palm Sunday worship service Sunday night at the Christian Church. This church’s communion traditions dictate that everyone drink the cup together. Some nice words of institution are said, and everyone drinks together. So, there we were, enjoying a serious, quiet communion moment with a hundred of our neighbors, and as we all tipped our cups back to take the juice, I wanted to swallow and shout, “OPAH!” like they do on My Big Fat Greek Wedding! I didn’t do it, of course, but just thinking about it gave me a little case of the giggles.
2) Last week when I was in New Orleans with Mom and Kelly, we attended a dinner with Mom’s associates on the board of the American Council on Gift Annuities. Five of the board members were retiring, so there was a nice dinner to honor them and their years of service to ACGA. At one point during the dinner, people were invited to stand up and say nice things about the people who were retiring. One man from our table stood up to recognize someone, and began talking a lot about things I wasn’t familiar with. This is not a rare occurance with the people my mother works for. I know jack squat about gift planning, annuities, laws pertaining to gift planning, bequests, blah, blah, blah. (Geez, I’m even boring myself just thinking about it!) This stuff is seriously over my head. So anyway, this really pleasant man is saying some really wonderful things about this other guy, but I was LOST because he was talking a lot of shop. The whole room was SILENT as this guy spoke, and being the polite, awesome person I am, I kept my eyes on him, smiling and nodding through his whole speech. Midway through his homage, my mind drifted a little, and I imagined myself just laughing out loud at something he said that I obviously didn’t understand. You know – one of those laughs that’s about half-fake, and says, “Oh no he di-in’t!” I snapped out of my daydream pretty quickly, but I was still pretty tickled with myself. I almost peed a little trying not to laugh in real life.
This is the burden that I carry folks. Anyone else out there with me? Besides Dr. John Dorian of course…
>It’s Tuesday, so that means it’s time for another Tuesday Tune! Is anyone out there enjoying these weekly posts besides me? Growing up in the family I did tricked me into thinking people cared a lot more about music than most people do. If you get bored with these Tuesday Tunes, I apologize. I probably won’t stop them anytime soon though – no matter how you feel about it. I’m enjoying sharing music with you!
This week’s Tune comes to us from the Dixie Chicks album “Home.” My in-laws bought me this for my birthday in 2002, and I loved the whole album from first listen. I love the Dixie Chicks. What a perfect combination of country, bluegrass, rock and roll and sassy ladies! I feel like these Chicks bridge the gaps between generations and genres, and I appreciate that about them.
This week’s Tune, “Godspeed,” always makes me feel a little weepy. I remember hearing it for the first time, and thinking, “I’m going to sing this to my son someday. What a perfect lullaby!” As the years of trying to have a baby have come and gone with no child to show for them, this song has become a little sour to me. Instead of dreaming of singing this to my child someday, I instead started wondering if that child would ever come.
Infertility is often a hopeless journey. You want so desperately to bring life to the world, and often you feel like you’re dead inside. I have had quite the roller coaster ride through all of this. Some days I feel so full of hope, I’m sure I’ll be pregnant just by wishing it. Other days I feel like all the hope has been washed away, and I will be left a barren, childless woman all the days of my life. It’s interesting to me that everyone else’s reproductive lives just keep going on as normal. Shouldn’t all my friends and family members be experiencing this as well? To see everyone else having babies the way we were built to can be really discouraging.
Last summer a series of events occurred that birthed new hope into my infertility journey. I won’t go on and on about them here. Go back in the archives, and you’ll see them documented there. Needless to say, God has worked wonderful miracles in my hope life these past few months, and I am now dreaming of holding my children someday.
For your tuning pleasure, here is “Godspeed” by the Dixie Chicks…
Mrs. Swish 