>9 Weeks

Posted on January 15, 2011 by Katie

>Technically, tomorrow I’m rolling over to 10 weeks, so I’m a little late posting this. Sorry! I haven’t had much time at my computer this week (other than work – which is CRAZY right now). Here we go!

1. How am I feeling this week?
At 9 weeks, I am starting to feel the nausea and exhaustion subside just a little bit. Still fairly tired and unmotivated most of the time, but I have had spurts of productivity this week! Not sure that the state of my house reflects that very well, but I’m trying. I’m feeling fatter this week. I feel like my belly is starting to stick out a bit more, but I guess I could just be bloated or something. Wearing regular pants is really starting to be a chore. I DREAD having to button those things! Don’t ask me to lift my shirt – I’m probably unbuttoned when you see me!

2. What is new this week?
New this week…Well – I am sleeping a bit better this week. I spend an ungodly amount of money on a Boppy total body pillow. It helps to have a pillow between my knees, and regular pillows just kept slipping off the bed in the middle of the night. I think it has helped, although I’m not sure Buster likes it too much. He’s trying to find new ways to snuggle when we sleep, and so far he hasn’t found a spot that he’s happy with. Matt says he doesn’t mind the monster pillow, but maybe he’s just being nice!

3. What am I excited about this week?
Names! We’ve been talking names a lot. We’ve pretty much settled on a boys name, but we’re still thinking about one for a girl. We can’t seem to totally agree on that! I’m sure we’ll let you know what names we choose at some point. Just not today! We had names picked out when we were pregnant in 2009, so it seemed obvious to just use those names. The sad thing is that I feel like those names were for that baby. When I say them now, I just don’t feel like they fit anymore. I know that’s weird. It’s hard to name a baby that we’re still not sure will ever be born, but I imagine that most parents start thinking of names early on. Am I right about that???

4. What am I nervous about this week?
I think I’ll be anxious about a possible miscarriage for a long time. You just never know. Things are so promising right now because I’m feeling lots of symptoms of a healthy pregnancy (nausea, exhaustion, back pain, breast pain, weight gain, etc.), AND I haven’t had any spotting or bleeding like I had in both of the other pregnancies. I just know that anything can happen though, and we really don’t know what’s going on in my body right now. We’re trusting that our little baby is growing and thriving, but the “what-ifs” never really go away.

Also, I’m kind of nervous about how our life is going to change with a baby in the house. This is definitely something we want, but the changes are going to be scary all the same! We have been married 8.5 years, and have become comfortable in our “just us” life. Suddenly we’ll have to go to a fairly regimented schedule as far as bedtimes, meals, cleaning, etc. goes. We seem to be exactly opposite of that right now! We go to bed whenever, get up whenever (unless we have work), eat when we feel hungry (could be 6:00, could be 9:00!), etc. I’m not the best housekeeper either, so thinking of how I’m going to have to improve myself that way is daunting too. We will do what is best for our new family, but it’s going to be a huge shift around here.

One more thing I’m nervous about is my health. I’m really overweight, and have fears about the complications that may (probably will) bring to the table. In my head I know I need to be eating better and getting some exercise, but right now I can hardly stay awake through the work day! My nausea and cravings have me wanting to eat things like popcorn and sprite and I really don’t have much interest in salads right now. I’m hoping this doesn’t last long. I did get on the treadmill yesterday morning for just a little bit. I cut it short though because some serious hunger pains took over. Next time I’ll remember to eat breakfast before I try to do that again!

5. What am I craving or having aversions to this week?
This is a question my friend Courtney suggested I add to my weekly posts, and I quickly agreed! From the beginning of the pregnancy until now I have been craving hot dogs and corn dogs. It’s so weird, I know. I’m a foodie for crying out loud! These are horrible things to eat! I can’t help it though. They are SO GOOD. I’m starting to crave cherry slushies (also, really not good for me). They feel so good on my upset tummy! Pizza is almost always a good idea for me, but that’s true even when I’m not pregnant. And I just discovered something that’s becoming a craving: Chip’ins by Popcorn, Indiana. They’re popcorn chips, and they’re AWESOME. Only three ingredients: popcorn, sunflower oil and sea salt. This makes me so happy! Plus, they are naturally low in fat (only 2.5 grams per serving). They seem to fulfill the cravings I’ve been having for salty things without making me feel like I’ve eaten anything really heavy. You can get them at Walgreens, Walmart and Whole Foods I hear, although I have only been to Walgreens for them. Go buy them. Make them the most popular item in the store, so more places will carry them!

Aversions? I have really NOT wanted salad lately. Something about the lettuce or whatever – I don’t know. I just sound AWFUL right now. So weird too, because I usually LOVE salad. Also, steak hasn’t sounded all that great, or any big cuts of meat for that matter. I like ground beef or shredded chicken, but to think about eating a whole steak or whole chicken breast just makes me a little blah. My appetite really seems to change by the minute though, so tomorrow I may be wanting steak for every meal!

So that’s that. Me at 9 weeks. I’ll be putting up a 10 week post in the next couple days. Thanks for praying for us!!!

>Grandma Jordan: A Memory

Posted on January 5, 2011 by Katie

>This is my Great Grandma Jordan…

Grandma was 99, and passed away a couple weeks ago on December 23rd. I don’t know how you can expect a death and still be shocked by it, but somehow that’s how it happened (for me anyway). Her advanced age obviously clued us in to the fact that her time on Earth wasn’t going to last much longer, yet I think we all hoped that she would be a permanent fixture in our lives.

Her death came the same day we heard the heartbeat of our little Beanie Boo. I had such a rush of conflicting emotions that day! That, and the fast-approaching craziness of Christmas, probably pushed some of the grief to the back burner for a bit to allow me to survive the holidays. For some reason today I seem to be crushed with grief. I’m not sure what brought it on, but perhaps the Christmas fog has finally lifted and allowed me some space for the mourning.

I can’t possibly tell you in one sitting just how special Grandma was to me – to all of us. It would be impossible. Somehow it seems that even if I tried I would never get the right words together anyway. Instead, I wanted to share a memory with you.

A few months before my wedding day, I drove over to Grandma’s to have a little visit. We visited her often in her little house on Gilbert, and enjoyed talking and laughing with her in the decades-old furniture that filled her home. That night it was just me, and I just wanted to drop by to say hello for a bit.

As it tended to at this point in my life, conversation quickly turned to the subject of my wedding. We talked about flowers and food and whatever else people talk about when planning a wedding. It’s been so long for me, I can hardly remember now! During our conversation, she got up from her chair, went into the kitchen and pulled a small box out from the cabinet above her stove. It was just a white cardboard box that had several brown age spots on it. She opened it up and began to share the contents with me.

Inside the box she had kept cards that she and Grandpa had received when they got married, as well as from when they had their only child – my Grandma Marilyn. The cards were tiny, brown and brittle from age. Most of them were no bigger than a standard Post It! Most weren’t even cards at all – simply pieces of notepaper, cut down and folded with short, sincere well-wishes scrawled on them. Some had envelopes, most did not. She pointed out the ones who came from people who had money – they had some foiling and pictures on the cards. Most people couldn’t afford a card with such detail. It was amazing to look at. This small pile of notes from people – most of them gone long ago – wishing Grandma and Grandpa all the best as they started their life together and welcomed a child to the world. Some cards were signed by her parents, by her siblings, and other people she treasured in her life.

Also in the box was a pair of the tiniest, shabbiest little plastic bride and groom I have ever seen. Grandma informed me that these were the tiny dolls that adorned the top of her wedding cake. They had definitely seen better days, but she had kept them all these years. I was immediately silenced by the awe I felt holding those little decorations.

She also had some old candles that had been used on countless birthday cakes throughout the years. Grandma and Grandpa lived through the Depression, so waste was never an option at their house. Instead of using a new candle each time, they reused the same over and over.

I don’t remember exactly what was said that night, but I remember spending a couple hours with Grandma pouring over each item in that box. I remember sharing with her my anxieties and excitement about marrying Matt, and I remember her telling me that everything would be great. That I would make a good wife. That Matt was a good man. And that she couldn’t believe I was old enough to get married – I’d grown up so fast.

We put the items back in the box, and when I thought she would be getting up to put the box away, she turned to me instead and told me to keep it. She wanted me to have these things. These little pieces of her life were being passed to me for safe keeping. I was honored then, and I’m even more honored now.

Suffice it to say that this unassuming box and the scraps of life within it have become one of my most treasured possessions. I went through the box again today, tears pouring from me as I remembered this night with my Grandma. There were so many amazing things about her. She never had much that most people would notice. She lived in a small, modest home for most of her life with the same furniture that was older than I could imagine. She was never adorned with jewels – always wore the same rings and a gold necklace with a small gold heart on it. She was much like that box – sturdy, showing signs of age, but within her lay a lifetime of love and blessings and memories.

I miss her so much today. I regret not getting to see her more in the last years of her life. I will always wish I had not let life get in the way of spending some more time with her recently. I know that I have been blessed in a unique way by getting to have my Great Grandmother into my 30s – that my father and his siblings had their Grandmother until they were close to 60! I praise God for the woman he gave us as a grandmother. She was an amazing example of who we all should strive to be.

>8 Weeks

Posted on January 3, 2011 by Katie

>Well, well, well…

I’m guessing that most of you know by now, but I’m pregnant again! I figured I should probably do some sort of pregnancy journal, and it seems like a blog I already have set up would be just the place to do it. It is my intention to blog about the pregnancy at least once a week, and each week I plan to answer some basic questions bout the pregnancy. Here we go!

1. How am I feeling this week?
At 8 weeks, I am definitely feeling pregnant. I have been exhausted lately, and definitely feeling nauseous quite a bit. I have yet to actually get sick, but I feel multiple times each day that I might just need to hurl! I have been sleeping with a big bowl next to my bed just in case. Around Christmas I was suffering from heartburn quite often, but I have tried to change my diet a bit to keep that from happening. It seems to be working so far. Today is my first day back at work, and I’m worried I won’t be able to keep up with my commute and work schedule. I only work three days each week, but a 55 mile commute means I still spend a lot of time on the road.

2. What is new this week?
I think I may need to start looking for maternity clothes soon! I’m not really happy about this, but I guess it means little Beanie is getting bigger and making room for his stay. Thankfully I have stretchy jeans and stretchy trousers, so maybe I can put the maternity pants off for a while longer. I also will probably need to start looking at new bras. My girls are HURTING and definitely feel like they’re starting to get bigger. (Oy vey…)

3. What am I excited about this week?
I seem to be getting excited about little things like bedding and decor for the nursery, and gear like strollers and playpens. I have plenty of time to figure out what we’re going to need, but I can’t stop looking at them online! I’m taking this as a sign that my psyche is getting more optimistic about what lies in this womb-o-mine.

4. What am I nervous about this week?
I’m still really anxious about the possibility of losing this pregnancy. To be honest, things look really great. Dr. A. said that the ultrasound and lab work couldn’t look better. I haven’t had any spotting whatsoever. Matt reminds me constantly that until we see signs that give cause for worry (spotting, cramping, etc.), then we shouldn’t worry! Yes dear. I hear you – just make sure I keep taking deep, calming breaths.

Another thing I’m worried about is the delivery. I know – it’s a long way off! But I worry that my arterial dissection that I had in May will prohibit me from having a vaginal delivery. I have always wanted a delivery with no pain medications too, but I have a feeling that may not happen. Whatever we need to do to get the baby here safely is obviously okay with me, but I’m just starting to wonder how the dissection is going to affect this moment in my life.

That’s that – Is there a weekly question that seems I have obviously overlooked? I just came up with them on my own – no research or anything. If you can think of something that might be a nice weekly question, just leave it in the comments below. BabyCenter.com suggests we should start taking belly pictures (actually, they suggested it for last week). I’m probably going to do them, but just need to figure out where to do them and what to wear and all of that. The fact that I am already very overweight will most definitely affect the way I show and all of that. You may not be able to tell for quite a while still. I’m not sure…anyone have experience here on being an overweight pregnant lady?

Anyone have thoughts about the sex of the baby? We’ll find out when it’s time (another 12 weeks or so), but it’s fun to speculate until then. Both of our younger nieces think Beanie Boo is a boy, and Matt and I tend to agree. Beanie’s heart rate was 136 when we had our ultrasound a couple weeks ago, and people (whoever “people” are) say that boys will typically be 140 or below and girls will be 140 and above. Something I notice the other day is that my feet and legs have not swollen at all like they did with the other pregnancies. I can’t help but remember that when my sister was pregnant with Kamryn, she was SO swollen, and with Harrison she didn’t swell much at all. Hmmmm…just something to think about. My family typically does a GIRL – GIRL – BOY cycle, but technically this is our third pregnancy. I don’t know – we’ll be happy with anything. At this point though, I kinda hope it’s a boy. We have settled on a fantastic name (IMO) for a boy, and are still bouncing around on one for a girl. Boy or girl though – I don’t care. Just give me a healthy, full-term baby.

Hope you all have a great new year! Can’t believe we’re already in 2011…